Cameron Crowe Monologues

Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)

What can I do for you Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you? … I’m ready. … Show you the money. … Yea yea, no ,no show you the money. … Show me the money … Show me the money … SHOW ME THE MONEY! … SHOW ME THE MONEY! … I love the black man. … Show me the money. … I love black people …. You my motherfucker! … SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Almost Famous (Lester Bangs)

You cannot make friends with the rock stars. If you’re gonna be a true journalist. If you’re a rock journalist, first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. Fuckin nothing about you that’s controversial man. It’s gonna get ugly.And they’ll buy you drinks, you’ll meet girls, they’ll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs… I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it. They are trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously And righteously dumb. Now, you’re smart enough to know that. And the day it ceases to be dumb is the day that it ceases to be real, right? And then it just becomes an industry of…cool. I’m tellin’ you, you’re coming along at a very dangerous time for rock ‘n’ roll. I mean, the war is over. They won. And 99% of what passes for rock ‘n’ roll these days, silence is more compelling. That’s why I think you should just turn around and go back, you know, and be a lawyer or something. But I can tell from your face that you won’t. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me a thousand words on Black Sabbath.

Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)

Hello? Hello. I’m looking for my wife. … Wait. Okay, okay. Okay. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that? This used to be my specialty. You know, I was good in the living room. They’d send me in there, I’d do it alone. And now I just… I don’t know. But tonight, our little project, our company, had a very big night. A very, very big night. But it wasn’t complete, it wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. … I missed my wife. … We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. … I love you. You complete me. And if I just had…

Almost Famous (Jeff Bebe)

Some people have a hard time explaining rock ‘n’ roll. I don’t think anyone can really explain rock ‘n’ roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that’s okay. Rock ‘n’ roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking… and it’s not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it’s a voice that says, “Here I am… and fuck you if you can’t understand me.” And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock ‘n’ roll can save the world… all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music.

Almost Famous (Lester Bangs)

Oh man, you made friends with ’em. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong….Because they make you feel cool, and hey, I met you. You are not cool….We are uncool. Women will always be a problem for guys like us, most of the great art in the world is about that very problem. Good looking people they got no spine, their art never lasts. They get the girls but we’re smarter… Great art is about guilt and longing. Love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love. Let’s face, you got a big head start…. I’m always home, I’m uncool. …The only true currency is this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool. My advice to you, I know you think these guys are your friends, you want to be a true friend to ‘em, be honest and unmerciful.

Almost Famous (Penny Lane)

I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)

Alright so this is the world and there are five billion people on it. When I was a kid there were three. It’s hard to keep up. That’s better. That’s America. See, America still sets the tone for the world… In Indiana, Clark Hodd. 13. The best point guard in the country. Puberty hasn’t been easy. Becky Farling. You’ll see her in the next Olympics. Seattle, Washington. Dallas Malloy. Went to court to be allowed to box professionally. She’s 16. Art Stallings, Indio, California. Check out what pure joy looks like. In Odessa, Texas, the great Frank Cushman. Cush is 20. Quarterback, role model, my client. He’ll probably go number one in the draft this year. There’s genius everywhere, but until they turn pro, it’s like popcorn in the pan. Some pop… some don’t.

Jerry Maguire (Jerry Maguire)

Hello? Hello. I’m looking for my wife. … Wait. Okay, okay. Okay. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that? This used to be my specialty. You know, I was good in the living room. They’d send me in there, I’d do it alone. And now I just… I don’t know. But tonight, our little project, our company, had a very big night. A very, very big night. But it wasn’t complete, it wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. … I missed my wife. … We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. … I love you. You complete me. And if I just had…

Almost Famous (Lester Bangs)

Oh man, you made friends with ’em. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong….Because they make you feel cool, and hey, I met you. You are not cool….We are uncool. Women will always be a problem for guys like us, most of the great art in the world is about that very problem. Good looking people they got no spine, their art never lasts. They get the girls but we’re smarter… Great art is about guilt and longing. Love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love. Let’s face, you got a big head start…. I’m always home, I’m uncool. …The only true currency is this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool. My advice to you, I know you think these guys are your friends, you want to be a true friend to ‘em, be honest and unmerciful.