Welcome to Opening Monologue, your ultimate source for Mean Girls monologues! We've gathered the most popular ones for you right here.
Growing up female in this world is not easy. In China, baby girls are routinely put up for adoption. And in parts of Africa, women are still made to live in tents during the time of their menses. … And even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten teenage girls have a negative body image.
GRETCHEN: I mean, if you even knew how mean she really is. You know I”m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? She told me two years ago that hoop earrings were “her thing” and I wasn”t allowed to wear them anymore. And then my parents got me a pair of really expensive white gold hoops for Hanukkah and I had to act like I didn”t like them. It was so sad. And you know she still cheats on Aaron. Every Thursday she hooks up with Shane Oman in the alcove behind the auditorium. And I never told anybody that cause I”m such a good friend!More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
GRETCHEN: We only wear jeans or track pants on Friday. You can”t wear a tank top two days in a row. You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So, I guess, you picked today. And if you break any of these rules you can”t sit with us at lunch. I mean, not just you, any of us. Like, if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the art freaks.We always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. I mean, you wouldn”t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you. It”s the same with guys. You may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
We always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. I mean, you wouldn”t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you. It”s the same with guys. You may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
Here, this map is gonna to be your guide to North Shore. Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial because you got everybody there. You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks, Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don’t eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of the plastics.
MS. NORBURY: Regina George. Every girl here is afraid of you. I”m afraid of you half the time. But I”ve met girls like you before and I can tell you, if you don”t change your life, you”re about ten years away from being a divorced Real Estate agent with chipped nail tips.And don”t think Regina is the meanest girl in this school. I have never met anybody as mean as Jessica Lopez. I”ve seen Jessica Lopez make a girl cry just by looking at her. Do it, Jessica.You guys wear your tiny little t-shirts that say “Princess” and “Diva” and you act like you”ve got it all under control, but I know you”re freaking out inside. You feel like everybody else has some kind of secret guidebook on how to be perfect and cute and you”re just a goon. That”s cause you”re still changing. Not everybody looks their best at 15. (to an awkward girl) Annika. You”re gonna hit your peak in five years. (to another awkward girl) Emily, it”s all gonna happen for you in your thirties. You”re gonna be, like – (sexy voice) “I teach yoga in Los Angeles”Karen, you are at your peak right now. Take a lot of pictures. Wear your bathing suit whenever possible. This is it for you.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
And don”t think Regina is the meanest girl in this school. I have never met anybody as mean as Jessica Lopez. I”ve seen Jessica Lopez make a girl cry just by looking at her. Do it, Jessica.You guys wear your tiny little t-shirts that say “Princess” and “Diva” and you act like you”ve got it all under control, but I know you”re freaking out inside. You feel like everybody else has some kind of secret guidebook on how to be perfect and cute and you”re just a goon. That”s cause you”re still changing. Not everybody looks their best at 15. (to an awkward girl) Annika. You”re gonna hit your peak in five years. (to another awkward girl) Emily, it”s all gonna happen for you in your thirties. You”re gonna be, like – (sexy voice) “I teach yoga in Los Angeles”Karen, you are at your peak right now. Take a lot of pictures. Wear your bathing suit whenever possible. This is it for you.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
You guys wear your tiny little t-shirts that say “Princess” and “Diva” and you act like you”ve got it all under control, but I know you”re freaking out inside. You feel like everybody else has some kind of secret guidebook on how to be perfect and cute and you”re just a goon. That”s cause you”re still changing. Not everybody looks their best at 15. (to an awkward girl) Annika. You”re gonna hit your peak in five years. (to another awkward girl) Emily, it”s all gonna happen for you in your thirties. You”re gonna be, like – (sexy voice) “I teach yoga in Los Angeles”Karen, you are at your peak right now. Take a lot of pictures. Wear your bathing suit whenever possible. This is it for you.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
Karen, you are at your peak right now. Take a lot of pictures. Wear your bathing suit whenever possible. This is it for you.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know right, it’s sooo embarrassing. I don’t even… whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana. And Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like Why didn’t you call me back?! And I’d be like, Uh, why are you so obsessed with me? So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, Janyce I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian. I mean, I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she’s on crack. Oh my God! I love your skirt, where did you get it?
REGINA: Why were you talking to Janis Ian? She”s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. (as if this is shocking) I was best friends with her in middle school. I know, right? It”s so embarrassing, I don”t even… whatever. Then, in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but he moved to Indiana, and Janis was, like weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I blew her off to hang out with Kyle she would be like, “Why didn”t you call me back!?” And I would be, like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then my birthday was an all-girls pool party and I was like, I can”t invite you, Janis, because I think you”re a lesbian. I mean, I couldn”t have a lesbian there. Girls were going to be in their bathing suits. I mean, right? Then her mom called my mom and was, like, yelling at her. It was so retarded and then in the fall when we started high school all her hair was cut off and she was totally weird and now I think she does h -.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin
REGINA: I”m going to forgive you. Because I”m on a lot of pain medication right now. You know I died for fifteen seconds, right? Spoiler alert: heaven looks like a really nice hotel in Miami. When I woke up in the street, all I could see was my mom”s face and Gretchen”s big face looking down at me. And they looked so surprised. Not even sad, just like, surprised that I could be bleeding. Like they forgot I was a human person. I”ve actually been a human person this whole time. I know I was harsh. And people say I”m a b -. But you know what they would call me if I was a boy? “Reginald”. That”s what my mom was gonna name me if I was a boy, so honestly I”d rather be “b -“.More Monologues from “Mean Girls”RelatedShareTweetPin