1077 Best Movie Monologues – Opening Monologue

Zombieland (Tallahassee)

Category: Movie Role: Tallahassee From: Zombieland

TALLAHASSEE: There”s a box of Twinkies down in that Mini-Mart. Not just any box of Twinkies. The last box of Twinkies… that I… or anyone… will enjoy… for all of time… in the whole universe. “Cause there”s an expiration date on Twinkies. And the Hostess factories are gone. So some day very soon, life”s little Twinkie gauge is gonna hit Empty. Now, true… you probably won”t survive the next ten minutes. But if you do, you”ll be one of the last two guys in the universe to enjoy the spongy outside and creamy inside of a delicious Twinkie. Worth it, right?RelatedShareTweetPin

Zoolander (Derek Zoolander)

Category: Movie Role: Derek Zoolander From: Zoolander

Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your “do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way”?

Winter’s Bone (Ree Dolly)

Category: Movie Role: Ree Dolly From: Winter's Bone

Never ask for what ought to be offered.

Wuthering Heights (Catherine Earnshaw Linton)

Category: Movie Role: Catherine Earnshaw Linton From: Wuthering Heights

I don’t think I belong in Heaven, Ellen. I dreamt once I was there. I dreamt I’m in Heaven and that Heaven didn’t seem to be my home. And I broke my heart with weeping to come back to Earth and the angels were so angry they flung me out in the middle of the heath on top of Wuthering Heights. And I woke up sobbing with joy. That’s it Ellen. I have no more business marrying Edgar Linton that I have of being in Heaven. But Ellen, Ellen, what can I do? … Who else? He sunk so low. He seems to take pleasure in being mean and brutal. And yet, he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. And Linton’s is as different as frost from fire. I once thought of living as Heathcliff. Ellen, I AM Heathcliff.

Wuthering Heights (Heathcliff)

Category: Movie Role: Heathcliff From: Wuthering Heights

Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest so long as I live on! I killed you. Haunt me, then! Haunt your murderer! I know that ghosts have wandered on the Earth. Be with me always. Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark alone where I cannot find you. I cannot live without my life! I cannot die without my soul. … What do they know of heaven or hell, Cathy, who know nothing of life?

You’ve Got Mail (Kathleen Kelly)

Category: Movie Role: Kathleen Kelly From: You've Got Mail

Dear Friend, I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we’re the oldest and dearest friends, as opposed to what we actually are, people who don’t know each other’s names and met in a chat room where we both claimed we’d never been before. What will NY152 say today I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it connects. I go on-line and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

Zombieland (Tallahassee)

Category: Movie Role: Tallahassee From: Zombieland

TALLAHASSEE: Confession? Patrick Swayze was my hero. I can say that, right? I was just a kid. My Dad was outta the picture. And that”s when I saw “The Outsiders.” Cruise. Macchio. Lowe. Thomas-Howell. Estevez. Dillon. And Patrick Swayze. Rest of “em weren”t fit to hold his jock. And after “Outsiders?” “Renegades.” “Red Dawn.” “Road House.” (Tallahassee executes a KARATE MOVE from the movie.)I modeled my life after Swayze”s. Then just like that, it ended. My sis brought home a Betamax of Swayze”s latest movie. I sat and watched my hero slip on a tank top. And dance the Pachanga (snaps out of it) You imagine what that was like? Dirty. F -. Dancing. Never has a man who kicked so much a -… shaken… so much a -. (angry far-off stare) I never forgave the son-of-a-b -.*(In the film, Patrick Swayze was changed to Bill Murray. This monologue is from the original screenplay)RelatedShareTweetPin

I modeled my life after Swayze”s. Then just like that, it ended. My sis brought home a Betamax of Swayze”s latest movie. I sat and watched my hero slip on a tank top. And dance the Pachanga (snaps out of it) You imagine what that was like? Dirty. F -. Dancing. Never has a man who kicked so much a -… shaken… so much a -. (angry far-off stare) I never forgave the son-of-a-b -.*(In the film, Patrick Swayze was changed to Bill Murray. This monologue is from the original screenplay)RelatedShareTweetPin

*(In the film, Patrick Swayze was changed to Bill Murray. This monologue is from the original screenplay)RelatedShareTweetPin

White Oleander (Astrid Magnussen)

Category: Movie Role: Astrid Magnussen From: White Oleander

Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning. The reason is simple. I couldn’t understand the beginning until I had reached the end. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing, too much she would never tell. I could sell these things. People want to buy them. But I’d set it all on fire first. She’d like that. She’d make it just to burn it. I couldn’t afford this one, but the beginning deserves something special. But how do I show that nothing, not a taste, not a smell, not even the color of the sky has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her? I don’t know how to express that being with someone so dangerous was the last time I felt safe.The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert that fall. Only the oleanders thrived. Maybe the wind was the reason my mother did what she did. If it was, I wouldn’t have known. I lived in her shadow then. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I know everybody thinks that when they’re small, but she was the most beautiful woman most people had ever seen. He came into our lives without warning. She ignored him at first; he wasn’t her type. We laughed about him, his persistence. “Never let a man spend the night,” she said. “Never apologize. Never explain.” She was breaking all her rules and it would change everything.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Willy Wonka)

Category: Movie Role: Willy Wonka From: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37-B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if, and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy, ‘I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained’, et cetera, et cetera, ‘Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum’, et cetera, et cetera, ‘Memo bis punitor delicatum!” It’s all there! Black and white! Clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized. So you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir! … Sir, I said, ‘Good day!’

Watchmen (Rorschach)

Category: Movie Role: Rorschach From: Watchmen

Rorschach’s Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll whisper “no.”