5 Best Alexander Payne Monologues

Sideways (Maya Randall)

Sideways (Maya Randall)

Category: Movie Role: Maya Randall From: Sideways

Hello, Miles. It’s Maya. Thanks for your letter. I would have called sooner, but I think I needed some time to think about everything that happened and… what you wrote to me. Another reason, um, I didn’t call you sooner is because I wanted to finish your book, which I finally did last night. And I think it’s really lovely, Miles. You’re so good with words. Who cares if it’s not getting published? There are so many beautiful and… painful things about it. Did you really go through all that? Must have been awful. And the sister character – jeez, what a wreck. But I have to say that, well, I was really confused by the ending. I mean, did the father finally commit suicide, or what? It’s driving me crazy. Anyway, it’s turned cold and rainy here lately, but I like winter. So, listen, if you ever do decide to come up here again, you should let me know. I would say stop by the restaurant, but to tell you the truth, I’m not sure how much longer I’m gonna be working there, because I’m going to graduate soon. So, I’ll probably want to relocate. I mean, we’ll see. Anyway, like I said, I really loved your novel. Don’t give up, Miles. Keep writing. I hope you’re well. Bye.

Sideways (Miles Raymond)

Sideways (Miles Raymond)

Category: Movie Role: Miles Raymond From: Sideways

Let me show you how this is done. First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You’re looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you’re doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. That’s gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It’s usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don’t be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm… a little citrus… maybe some strawberry … and, oh, there’s just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese…

Election (Tracy Flick)

Election (Tracy Flick)

Category: Movie Role: Tracy Flick From: Election

Poet Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better.” With this election, we here at Carver also have an opportunity to make our high school days better. During this campaign I have had the opportunity to speak to many of you about your concerns. I spoke with freshman Eliza Ramirez, who told me how alienated she feels from her own homeroom. I spoke with sophomore Reggie Banks who said his mother works in the cafeteria and can’t afford to buy him enough spiral notebooks for his classes. I won’t bore you with long winded promises about all the new and innovative things I will definitely achieve during the year in which it will be my honor and privilege to represent each and every one of you, but I can say that my years of experience on the student council have taught me the three most important attributes the president needs to possess; commitment, qualifications, and experience. I’ll add one more, caring. I care about Carver and I care about each and every one of you and together we can all make a difference. One of the things I would like to establish is a regular open forum where any student can come and voice their concern about issues we face here at Carver. I and the rest of the student council would then interface with the faculty and staff, so a continuous dialogue would exist. When you cast your vote for Tracy Flick next week, you won’t just be voting for me. You’ll be voting for yourself and for every other student. Our days won’t be any longer, but they can sure be better.

About Schmidt (Roberta Hertzel)

About Schmidt (Roberta Hertzel)

Category: Movie Role: Roberta Hertzel From: About Schmidt

You already know how famously they get along as friends, but did you know that their sex life is positively white hot? The main reason both of my marriages failed was sexual. I’m an extremely sexual person, I can’t help it, it just how I’m wired, you know, even when I was a little girl. I had my first orgasm when I was 6 in ballet class. Anyway, the point is that I have been always very easily aroused and very orgasmic, Jeannie and I have a lot in common that way. Clifford and Larry, they were nice guys, but they just could not keep up with me. Anyway, I don’t want to betray Jeannie’s confidence, but let me just assure you that whatever problems those two kids may run into along the way, they will always be able to count on what happens between the sheets to keep them together. More soup?

About Schmidt (Warren R. Schmidt)

About Schmidt (Warren R. Schmidt)

Category: Movie Role: Warren R. Schmidt From: About Schmidt

I didn’t get much sleep last night, so forgive me if I’m a little foggy. But you know, today is a special day. We’re here to mark a crossroads in the lives of two people. A crossroads where they come together and now walk along a new road. It’s not the same road that they were on before. It’s a new road. A road that, um … As many of you know, I lost my wife recently. And Jeannie lost her mother. Helen and I were married 42 years. She died very suddenly. I know we all wish she could be with us today, and I think it would be appropriate to acknowledge just how pleased she was that Jeannie had found someone to share her life with. A companion. A partner… That brings me to what I really want to say. What I want to say, what I really want to say is, uh… Thank you, to you, Randall, for taking such good care of my daughter especially recently with our loss. Ever since I arrived here a couple of days ago, I have so enjoyed getting to know Jeannie’s new family… Everybody else, terrific people. Terrific. And in conclusion, I just want to say on this special day, this very special day, that I am very pleased.