Marisa says
Okay so I don’t know if there are stragglers, but I’m just going to start the tour. Hi, I’m Marissa. Hi. Welcome to Alcott College for Women founded in eighteen ninety five. You are here because we are the best. You know the saying. Smith to bed, Mount Holyoke to wed and Alcott to run your company. But our grads are not all CEOs. We have novelists, painters, journalists, lawyers, doctors, philanthropists, architects and professors. (as if responding to someone on the tour.) Yes, right and mothers. But you already know all this. That’s why you’re here. . . . No, Gloria Steinem didn’t go here.
… Amelia Earhart? No. … Helen Gurley Brown? No. … Well, scores of amazing women, just not those three. … No Aphra Behn died a hundred years before the college was founded. … No, not Gertrude Stein. No. … No. … No. … No. … No. … No… We’re getting sidetracked here. Let me show you the campus. Designed Stanford White after an exploratory trip to Italy and Greece it’s a neoclassical … yes, that’s right. Imposing, isn’t it? It gives a weight to our studies. We aren’t f- fooling around at Alcott. We are the future leaders of the arts, business and– No, not her, either. Stop! Hold on! I know you! You’re the tour guide from Wellesley. You’ve been warned before. Don’t let me see you on this campus again! I don’t care if your girlfriend’s here or not. This is my work study job. I won’t have it! I simply won’t! We’re not continuing until you leave. … Go! Just go! GO! GO! GO!
… Is she gone? Behind me, the cafeteria. You’ll spend a lot of time there. And the library of course. The intricate structure to my left is the cathedral, mostly used for–GET OUT OF HERE! GO! GO! Okay, I think she’s finally . . . This way to the STEM wing. That’s new. Then the Theater. But you probably want to see the dorms, don’t you? I SAID GET OUT OF HERE!!