Alice in Wonderland Monologues

Alice in Wonderland (Alice)

Why, how impolite of him. I asked him a civil question, and he pretended not to hear me. That’s not at all nice. I say, Mr. White Rabbit, where are you going? He won’t answer me. And I do so want to know what he is late for. I wonder if I might follow him. Why not? There’s no rule that I mayn’t go where I please. I will follow him. Wait for me, Mr. White Rabbit. I’m coming, too! How curious. I never realized that rabbit holes were so dark and so long and so empty. I believe I have been falling for five minutes, and I still can’t see the bottom! Hmph! After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs. How brave they’ll all think me at home. Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it even if I fell off the top of the house! I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time. I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny that would be. Oh, I think I see the bottom. Yes, I’m sure I see the bottom. I shall hit the bottom, hit it very hard, and oh, how it will hurt!

Alice in Wonderland (Caterpillar)

Who … are … you? How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tale and pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheeah.. How cheeah…How cheerfully he seems to have grinned, how neatly spreads his claws and welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws. … I know I have improved it. … Who … are … you? … Exactically what is your problem?

Alice in Wonderland (Cheshire Cat)

Oh by the way, if you’d really like to know he went that way. … The white rabbit. … He did what? … Who did? … What rabbit? … Can you stand on your head? However if I were looking for a white rabbit, I’d ask the Mad Hatter … or there’s the March Hare in that direction. … Of course, he’s mad too. … Oh you can’t help that, most everyone’s mad here. … Ha ha ha. You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself.

Alice in Wonderland (Mad Hatter)

I shall elucidate. Now statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday. … Ahh, but there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays. … What a small this world is. … Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true. … A very merry unbirthday to you!