Dr. Strangelove (President Merkin Muffley)
Hello? … Ah … I can’t hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? … Oh-ho, that’s much better. … yeah … huh … yes … Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. … Clear and plain and coming through fine….I’m coming through fine, too, eh? … Good, then … well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine. … Good. … Well, it’s good that you’re fine and … and I’m fine. … I agree with you, it’s great to be fine. … a-ha-ha-ha-ha … Now then, Dmitri, you know how we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb. …The Bomb, Dmitri…. The hydrogen bomb! … Well now, what happened is … ah … one of our base commanders, he had a sort of … well, he went a little funny in the head … you know … just a little … funny. And, ah … he went and did a silly thing. … Well, I’ll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes … to attack your country… Ah… Well, let me finish, Dmitri. … Let me finish, Dmitri. … Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! …Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? … Why do you think I’m calling you? Just to say hello? … Of course I like to speak to you! … Of course I like to say hello! … Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I’m just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened… It’s a friendly call. Of course it’s a friendly call. … Listen, if it wasn’t friendly … you probably wouldn’t have even got it. … They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour. … I am … I am positive, Dmitri. … Listen, I’ve been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. … Well, I’ll tell you. We’d like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. … Yes! I mean if we’re unable to recall the planes, then … I’d say that, ah … well, ah … we’re just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. … I know they’re our boys. … All right, well listen now. Who should we call? …Who should we call, Dmitri? The … wha, the People… you, sorry, you faded away there…. The People’s Central Air Defense Headquarters. … Where is that, Dmitri? … In Omsk. Right? … Yes. …Oh, you’ll call them first, will you? … Uh-hu … Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? … Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information. …Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm … I’m sorry, too, Dmitri. …I’m very sorry. … All right, you’re sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well. … I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don’t say that you’re more sorry than I am, because I’m capable of being just as sorry as you are. … So we’re both sorry, all right?! … All right.