The Straw (Eileen)
Eileen says
Then I want to say- I know your secret. You don’t love me- Isn’t that it? Sssh! It’s all right, dear. You can’t help what you don’t feel. I’ve guessed you didn’t- right along. And I’ve loved you- such a long time now- always, it seems. And you’ve sort of guessed- that I did- didn’t you? No, don’t speak! I’m sure you’ve guessed- only you didn’t want to know- that- did you? – when you didn’t love me. That’s why you were lying- but I saw, I knew! Oh, I’m not blaming you, darling. How could I- never! You mustn’t look so- so frightened. I know how you felt, dear. I’ve- I’ve watched you. It was just a flirtation for you at first. Wasn’t it? Oh, I know. It was just fun, and– Please don’t look at me so. I’m not hurting you, am I? I wouldn’t for worlds, dear- you know- hurt you! And then afterwards- you found we could be such good friends- helping each other- and you wanted it to stay just like that always, didn’t you?- I know- and then I had to spoil it all- and fall in love with you- didn’t I? Oh, it was stupid- I shouldn’t- I couldn’t help it, you were so kind and- and different- and I wanted to share in your work and- and everything. I knew you wouldn’t want to know I loved you- when you didn’t- and I tried hard to be fair and hide my love so you wouldn’t see- and I did, didn’t I, dear? You never knew till just lately- maybe not till just to-day- did you?- when I knew you were going away so soon- and couldn’t help showing it. You never knew before, did you? Did you?