The Philanderer (Julia)

Julia says

But why? We could be so happy. You love me -I know you love me -I feel it. You say “My dear” to me: you have said it several times this evening. I know I have been wicked, odious, bad. I say nothing in defence of myself. But don’t be hard on me. I was distracted the thought of losing you. I can’t face life without you Leonard. I was happy when I met you: I had never loved anyone; and if you had only let me alone I could have gone on contentedly myself. But I can’t now. I must have you with me. Don’t cast me off without a thought of all I have at stake. I could be a friend to you if you would only let me -if you would only tell me your plans -give me a share in your work –treat me as something more than the amusement of an idle hour. Oh Leonard, Leonard, you’ve never given me a chance: indeed you haven’t. I’ll take pains; I’ll read; I’ll try to think; I’ll conquer my jealousy; I’ll –

(She breaks down, rocking her head desperately on his knee and writhing.)

Oh, I’m mad: I’m mad: you’ll kill me if you desert me.