OLIVE: Remember how I told you Google Earth couldn”t find me if I was a ten story building? Well, the next day it could”ve found me if I was dressed as a needle at a haystack convention. I was now the center of attention and it felt pretty damn good.If I”d known losing my virginity would”ve created such a new awesome persona for myself, I”d have lied about it back in eighth grade. Eighth grade sucked. I did get my first kiss back then, however. It was gross and kind of turned me off to the whole my-tongue-in-other-people”s-mouths thing. Not to mention the even-worse other-people”s-tongues-in-my-mouth thing. Seriously, who invented kissing and why do people want to do it so much? It”s not like that”s how we procreate. Back then I didn”t know that of course. If I”d known Woodchuck Todd was going to turn out so hot, I probably would have cherished the moment more.More Monologues from “Easy A”RelatedShareTweetPin
If I”d known losing my virginity would”ve created such a new awesome persona for myself, I”d have lied about it back in eighth grade. Eighth grade sucked. I did get my first kiss back then, however. It was gross and kind of turned me off to the whole my-tongue-in-other-people”s-mouths thing. Not to mention the even-worse other-people”s-tongues-in-my-mouth thing. Seriously, who invented kissing and why do people want to do it so much? It”s not like that”s how we procreate. Back then I didn”t know that of course. If I”d known Woodchuck Todd was going to turn out so hot, I probably would have cherished the moment more.More Monologues from “Easy A”RelatedShareTweetPin