Chicago Monologues

Chicago (Roxann Hart)

Oh , say it again , Fred … Where’s the fire, huh? Amos ain’t home till midnight. Hey, I don’t want you to feel like I’m nagging at you , but don’t you think it’s time I met your friend down at the Onyx? It’s been a month since you told him about me. And I know ’cause that was the night Velma Kelly plugged her husband and her sister. You know they say that she found ’em in the kip together? Gosh , if I ever found Amos slipping it to somebody else… I’d throw him a great big going-away party. … I have been thinking a lot about my act. Whenever I get a good idea I write it in my diary. It occurred to me the other day that all the really, really knockout acts have something a little different going on. Like a signature bit. And I thought that my thing could be aloof, you know? Give ’em just enough to get ’em good and hungry, but always leave ’em wantin’ more. Hey, once I get a name for myself, maybe we could open up a club of our own . You could run it, and I could be the headliner. What’s the idea?

Chicago (Velma Kelly)

C’mon Babe, why don’t we paint the town… And all that Jazz. I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down… And all that Jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot… where the gin is cold but the piano’s hot. It’s just a noisy hall, where there’s a nightly brawl… And all that Jazz.

My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we’re at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there’s Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.