As Good As It Gets Monologues

As Good As It Gets (Melvin Udall)

Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there’s a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there’s a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you’re going to faint. Even then, don’t come knocking. Or, if it’s election night, and you’re excited and you want to celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he’s going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don’t knock. Not on this door. Not for any reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?

As Good as It Gets (Melvin Udall)

Don’t be pessimistic, it’s not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I’ve got this, what – ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I’m using the word “hate” here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never… well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills….You make me want to be a better man….Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

As Good as It Gets (Melvin Udall)

Don’t be pessimistic, it’s not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I’ve got this, what – ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I’m using the word “hate” here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never… well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills….You make me want to be a better man….Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.