500 Days of Summer Monologues

500 Days of Summer (Summer)

SUMMER: I dream about flying. Not really flying. More like… floating. Like, it starts out I”m running really fast. And then the… terrain… gets all rocky and steep. But I don”t slow down. I just climb higher with every stride. Before I know it, I”m… floating. I”m going so fast my feet don”t even touch the ground. I”m up in the air and I”m… I don”t know… free. It”s this incredible feeling. But then I look down. And the minute I do… everything changes. There I am… I”m floating, high above the earth, nothing can touch me, right? I”m free and I”m safe and it hits me, just like that… I”m completely, utterly, alone. And then I wake up. I”ve never told anyone that.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Tom)

TOM: Alison? Listen… It”s great to meet you, really. You”re a very attractive girl. But I should tell you right off the bat … this is not going anywhere.It”s not you. It”s me. You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I don”t want you to get hurt. You know what I mean?I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but you”re probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential … someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know we”re getting a dog and you”re moving in. And that”s not me. You want to come inside, have some chicken fingers awesome. But that other stuff I gotta tell you up front … I”m just not ready, Alison.I liked this girl. Loved her even. And what did she do? She took a giant shit on my face. Literally. Not literally. Jesus, that”s disgusting, what”s wrong with you? The point is I”m messed up. On one hand, I want to forget her. On the other, I think she”s the only person on Earth who can make me happy.Every time I think I”m over the hump, I”ll have a dream or I”ll see some girl who looks like her from the back. And that”s it. Back to square one. And you know what… I”m gonna get her back.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

It”s not you. It”s me. You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I don”t want you to get hurt. You know what I mean?I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but you”re probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential … someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know we”re getting a dog and you”re moving in. And that”s not me. You want to come inside, have some chicken fingers awesome. But that other stuff I gotta tell you up front … I”m just not ready, Alison.I liked this girl. Loved her even. And what did she do? She took a giant shit on my face. Literally. Not literally. Jesus, that”s disgusting, what”s wrong with you? The point is I”m messed up. On one hand, I want to forget her. On the other, I think she”s the only person on Earth who can make me happy.Every time I think I”m over the hump, I”ll have a dream or I”ll see some girl who looks like her from the back. And that”s it. Back to square one. And you know what… I”m gonna get her back.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but you”re probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential … someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know we”re getting a dog and you”re moving in. And that”s not me. You want to come inside, have some chicken fingers awesome. But that other stuff I gotta tell you up front … I”m just not ready, Alison.I liked this girl. Loved her even. And what did she do? She took a giant shit on my face. Literally. Not literally. Jesus, that”s disgusting, what”s wrong with you? The point is I”m messed up. On one hand, I want to forget her. On the other, I think she”s the only person on Earth who can make me happy.Every time I think I”m over the hump, I”ll have a dream or I”ll see some girl who looks like her from the back. And that”s it. Back to square one. And you know what… I”m gonna get her back.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

I liked this girl. Loved her even. And what did she do? She took a giant shit on my face. Literally. Not literally. Jesus, that”s disgusting, what”s wrong with you? The point is I”m messed up. On one hand, I want to forget her. On the other, I think she”s the only person on Earth who can make me happy.Every time I think I”m over the hump, I”ll have a dream or I”ll see some girl who looks like her from the back. And that”s it. Back to square one. And you know what… I”m gonna get her back.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

Every time I think I”m over the hump, I”ll have a dream or I”ll see some girl who looks like her from the back. And that”s it. Back to square one. And you know what… I”m gonna get her back.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Narrator)

This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he’d never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie ‘The Graduate’. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent’s marriage she’d only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and feel nothing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

500 Days of Summer (Paul)

PAUL: You son of a bitch. The same girl you”d been obsessing over for weeks now? The same girl you said was way out of your league and you wouldn”t have a chance with. That girl? Did you bang her? Blow job? Hand job? Come on, level with me. As your best friend, who tolerated all this talk… Summer this, Summer that, Summer Summer Summer, I mean you were practically stalking her…Suddenly, the sound of a toilet flushing is heard. From the bathroom emerges Summer, dressed to go out.Oh. Summer, wow that an unusual name. Tom, how come you”ve never mentioned you knew such a lovely little lady? (off Tom”s nasty look) Or perhaps you have and I”ve just forgot. I mean, with all the women in Tom”s life it”s hard to keep track… (not helping) Ok, well, I was just… I”m Paul. (not sure what else to say) I”m a doctor. Anyway, I”m leaving now. Pretend I was never here.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

Suddenly, the sound of a toilet flushing is heard. From the bathroom emerges Summer, dressed to go out.Oh. Summer, wow that an unusual name. Tom, how come you”ve never mentioned you knew such a lovely little lady? (off Tom”s nasty look) Or perhaps you have and I”ve just forgot. I mean, with all the women in Tom”s life it”s hard to keep track… (not helping) Ok, well, I was just… I”m Paul. (not sure what else to say) I”m a doctor. Anyway, I”m leaving now. Pretend I was never here.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

Oh. Summer, wow that an unusual name. Tom, how come you”ve never mentioned you knew such a lovely little lady? (off Tom”s nasty look) Or perhaps you have and I”ve just forgot. I mean, with all the women in Tom”s life it”s hard to keep track… (not helping) Ok, well, I was just… I”m Paul. (not sure what else to say) I”m a doctor. Anyway, I”m leaving now. Pretend I was never here.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Summer)

SUMMER: You don”t believe a woman could enjoy being free and independent? No, I”m not a lesbian. I”m just not comfortable being somebody”s “girlfriend.” I don”t want to be anybody”s anything, you know? It sounds selfish, I know, but… I just like being on my own. Relationships are messy and feelings get hurt. Who needs all that? We”re young. We”re in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I say, let”s have as much fun as we can have and leave the serious stuff for later.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Tom)

TOM: I don”t know. It”s not that simple. Like, are we “going steady?” Come on, guys. We”re adults. We know how we feel. We don”t need to label it. “Boyfriend, girlfriend.” That stuff is very… juvenile. Ok. Number one. Your last girlfriend was Amy Sussman in the 7th grade and you “dated” for an hour. And you… you”ve been with Robyn and no one else since you were ten. I hardly think you two are the authorities on modern relationships. “Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

Ok. Number one. Your last girlfriend was Amy Sussman in the 7th grade and you “dated” for an hour. And you… you”ve been with Robyn and no one else since you were ten. I hardly think you two are the authorities on modern relationships. “Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

“Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Summer)

SUMMER: You don”t believe a woman could enjoy being free and independent? No, I”m not a lesbian. I”m just not comfortable being somebody”s “girlfriend.” I don”t want to be anybody”s anything, you know? It sounds selfish, I know, but… I just like being on my own. Relationships are messy and feelings get hurt. Who needs all that? We”re young. We”re in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I say, let”s have as much fun as we can have and leave the serious stuff for later.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Tom)

TOM: You know what… I say to hell with it! Let”s level with America. Or at least make them speak for themselves! I mean, seriously, what”s this… (picks a card off the table) “Congratulations on your new baby.” Eh … How bout … “Congratulations on your new baby… Guess that”s it for hanging out. Nice knowing ya.”(picks up a card) Oh wait, what”s this? Ooh look at all the pretty hearts. Let”s open it up. “Happy Valentine”s Day, Sweetheart. I love you.” Oh that”s nice. Aint love grand? (beat) See this is what I”m talking about. What”s that even mean, “love?” Do you know? Do you? Does anyone? If someone gave me this card, Mr. Vance … I would eat it. It”s these cards and these movies and these pop songs. They”re to blame for all the lies, the heartache, everything! We”re responsible! (beat) I”m responsible.I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, without some strangers putting words in their mouths. Words like “love” that don”t mean shit. I”m sorry Mr. Vance, but I quit. There”s enough bullshit in the world without my help.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

(picks up a card) Oh wait, what”s this? Ooh look at all the pretty hearts. Let”s open it up. “Happy Valentine”s Day, Sweetheart. I love you.” Oh that”s nice. Aint love grand? (beat) See this is what I”m talking about. What”s that even mean, “love?” Do you know? Do you? Does anyone? If someone gave me this card, Mr. Vance … I would eat it. It”s these cards and these movies and these pop songs. They”re to blame for all the lies, the heartache, everything! We”re responsible! (beat) I”m responsible.I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, without some strangers putting words in their mouths. Words like “love” that don”t mean shit. I”m sorry Mr. Vance, but I quit. There”s enough bullshit in the world without my help.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, without some strangers putting words in their mouths. Words like “love” that don”t mean shit. I”m sorry Mr. Vance, but I quit. There”s enough bullshit in the world without my help.More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

500 Days of Summer (Tom)

TOM: I don”t know. It”s not that simple. Like, are we “going steady?” Come on, guys. We”re adults. We know how we feel. We don”t need to label it. “Boyfriend, girlfriend.” That stuff is very… juvenile. Ok. Number one. Your last girlfriend was Amy Sussman in the 7th grade and you “dated” for an hour. And you… you”ve been with Robyn and no one else since you were ten. I hardly think you two are the authorities on modern relationships. “Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

Ok. Number one. Your last girlfriend was Amy Sussman in the 7th grade and you “dated” for an hour. And you… you”ve been with Robyn and no one else since you were ten. I hardly think you two are the authorities on modern relationships. “Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”

“Why rock the boat?” is what I”m thinking. Things are going well. If we start putting labels on it, that”s like the kiss of death. Like saying to a girl “I love you.”More Monologues from “500 Days of Summer”