4 Best Vince Vaughn Monologues

Welcome to Opening Monologue, your ultimate source for Vince Vaughn monologues! We've gathered the most popular ones for you right here.

Wedding Crashers (Jeremy Grey)

Wedding Crashers (Jeremy Grey)

Category: Movie Role: Jeremy Grey From: Wedding Crashers

Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested but I’m not really interested, or should I play like I’m interested, but I’m not that interested, but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested, but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested and when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like, well goodnight. You do like that ass-out hug where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close. Do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering, are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.

Swingers (Trent Walker)

Swingers (Trent Walker)

Category: Movie Role: Trent Walker From: Swingers

Our little baby’s all grows up. You know what? … Our little baby’s all grows up. … I’m not even hungry, I couldn’t touch it. … Our little boy is all grows up tonight. You know what big boy? You’re grown up. You’re grown up! Yeaaaheyha! Dig that! Is this a fuckin’ production for ya? Cuz you’re growns up and you’re growns up and you’re growns up! I’m the asshole in the bar place is that right? I’m the asshole? I’m outta here. I’m not eatin’ anything. I wouldn’t eat here, I would never eat here anyway.

Swingers (Trent Walker)

Swingers (Trent Walker)

Category: Movie Role: Trent Walker From: Swingers

You know what you are? You’re like a big bear with claws and with fangs… Yeah… big fuckin’ teeth on ya’. And she’s just like this little bunny, who’s just kinda cowering in the corner. Yeah, man just kinda… you know, you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you’re thinking, “How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?”
Yeah, you’re not hurting it. You’re just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny’s scared Mike, the bunny’s scared of you, shivering. And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you’re looking at your claws and you’re looking at your fangs. And you’re thinking to yourself, you don’t know what to do, man. “I don’t know how to kill the bunny.” With *this* you don’t know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?