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I can’t believe I did this. … I can’t believe I did this. I can’t believe I did this!!! Mother would be so furious. That’s OK though, I mean what she doesn’t know won’t kill her. Right? Oh my gosh. This would kill her. This is so fun! I am a horrible daughter. I’m going back. I am never going back again! I am a despicable human being. Woo-hoo! Best. Day. Ever!
Really? I’ll tell you one thing though. You did not have me the moment that we met because I’m not even sure I like the fact that your staff talked about you behind your back at the dessert table. And excuse me but truth be told I didn’t like anything that you ordered for me on our first date except the calamari. And okay fine, yes, it was nice to not have to think for a change. But who wants someone that doesn’t think? Look. And sometimes you laugh when I cry, and you say “huh” when I make perfect sense. And never ever in my life have I burnt a chocolate soufflé until now, and that in and of itself. Oh my God. Should have told me I don’t feel like myself around you. And I would have decided that. A long time ago if it weren’t for my mother. Because who wants someone who laughs like a hyena in a polka dot dress that my mother made me buy.